In a Parallel Universe

By Reporter, The HighLand Times, Tuesday April 25 2017

Am I the only one thinking that we are all in an episode or two of The Twilight Zone?

By Donald MacDonald.

You couldn’t make it up?

Last week I’m driving back down from Tain heading south and I had the wireless on in the car, listening to the chat on Radio Scotland.

And, what do I hear, I hear Theresa May saying that The Tory Party is the party of working class people and other such meaningless statements.

Jeez oh, that was a comment definitely meant for after the watershed.

Now I know I don’t take drugs, but at this point I thought I had, in the car by myself heading south, I’ve either been drugged or it’s a parallel universe.

I pull over, switch the car off, phone a friend just to make sure I am still real and in the right universe and to my surprise I find out I still am, I’ve not been subject to any mind alerting substances, I’m not in a parallel universe and I’ve not been abducted by aliens.

What is going on, did my ears deceive me, did I really hear that comment, surely not.

Then I thought, wait a minute Radio Scotland is broken, I will get in touch with them and let them know.

That’s it, that’s the answer Radio Scotland is broken, so do I phone them up and tell them, look I just heard Theresa May making outrageous statements on the wireless and I think your station is broken, because there is no way in a month of Sundays did she really say that.

I get home, ready to call them and say, look your broken, you need help and get the station fixed, only to find out to my utter surprise that it all happened, it was real.

What is the world coming to when people make claims like that?

And it gets worse.

President Trump, the man with the worst presidential ratings ever wants to start a war with North Korea, nothing like a war to save yourself when you’re in power.

So, he’s winding up Kim Jon Un, when I was young I had dinky toys, plastic soldiers and action man to fight my imaginary wars, but Kim, na, not for him toys, he gets to play with the real thing, nuclear missiles, tanks, big guns, real troops, planes and suchlike.

President Trump then tells Kim he’s sending a very powerful fleet to sort him out, very powerful, how powerful, I don’t think The Donald knew, the same as he didn’t know where it was going.

Now I know geography is not your average Yanks best subject, but surely, they can tell the difference between North Korea and Australia?

And now for the coup de grace, to all this madness that now surrounds all us ordinary people who just want to get on with our lives without war or the threat of war.

Michael Fallon has claimed that Britain would use nuclear weapons as a first strike.

And the Russians have claimed that Britain would be literally wiped out in the event of a nuclear war.

I don’t see why they felt they had to use the word literally, in the event of a nuclear war, its game over for us all.

They are all mad, Kim, Donald, Theresa and Vlad.

As I say you couldn’t make it up.

 

 

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