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It’s Been a While!
49 years old and unexpectedly single.
Well it’s not so unexpected now.
I started writing a few months ago about finding myself single, wanting to lose weight for going online dating and joining a dating site.
Where we are is, I haven’t lost weight, though I still am fit enough.
I have ventured into the online dating malarkey.
I’m still single, by choice, as I have yet to meet someone who makes me feel that way, you know the one that takes you by surprise, the one that feels right.
So, I joined a popular site, the one that does all the advertising and I thought here we go, I will meet someone nice and that’s it job done.
Er, well, it’s not that simple, you have to work out your unique selling point, your USP that will make you stand out from everyone else.
You are listing yourself like an item on eBay, you’ve got to sell yourself, you’ve got to nail your spiel, but I’m getting ahead of myself here.
It’s all about the photos and presentation, that’s got to be right and you’ve got to be very good at selfies.
Now being a middle-aged man, am absolutely useless at selfies, best I could do was a half decent photo on The Caledonian Sleeper when I was going to London for a Volvo Car Launch.
Its ok, but not great and nothing as good as the photos that you see the ladies put up.
So, there straight away was my first mistake, poor presentation, a photo of me in a Star Wars T Shirt on The Caledonian Sleeper is not portraying a good image.
Did I change it, no I didn’t and I will tell you why?
I believe that you have to be attracted to someone, yea you have to like the way they look, but you have to be attracted to them, does a photo do that, I think not.
There is more to a person than a selfie.
Some of ladies have had photo shoots done and for me that is way over the top, that’s too much the other way.
So, it’s a balance that you have to get right, am I that bothered that my photo is pants, nope, because there’s more to me than that and I had hoped that the discerning ladies would see past that.
Now before you go thinking, I am a right ugly, fat old so and so, I am not, I am 6 foot, well built, shaved head, train at least three times a week, eat well and look after myself, so I’m not too shabby, you would quite happily be seen with me in daylight.
So, that’s taken care of the photo thing, I didn’t change mine as I thought it was ok, but it didn’t have the wow factor, as I say I though the ladies would have seen past that, but internet dating is very shallow, to us an analogy, its shallower than the shallow end of a toddlers play pool.
So, there was my first mistake thinking that people internet dating wouldn’t be shallow.
Back to writing my spiel, my advert for myself.
I wrote a wee bit, kept it simple and fun as I thought that was the way to go, here is what I said:
What to say!
I suppose I should start with “Hello."
I could write a long boring profile listing all my (supposed) good points and saying what I am looking for in a girl.
But that would be boring and who wants to read that.
Let’s keep it simple, my name is Joe, if you want to find out more drop me a message and I will reply to you, don’t be shy, it only takes 20 seconds of courage to say “Hi.”
Simple enough, if you want to know more ask, big mistake.
Where have I mentioned, how much I make, what I’ve got, how good I am, where I’ve been, I don’t, if someone wants to know that they should ask, but do they, no they don’t.
Another mistake, I should have really exaggerated everything, made it more, bigger and better, I should have basically misused the truth, said anything to seal the deal.
But that’s not my style.
So, there was another mistake.
My next mistake was when I was filling in the personal details about myself, I never put an income down or what I do.
What has how much I make or what I do have to do with falling in love.
I’m not interested if the person that I eventually fall in love with again, lives in a tent or a palace, surely love isn’t about how much money you have?
Another mistake, apparently, it is.
What I found really unattractive in the lady’s profiles was when they put down how much you had to earn to date them, jeez oh, I couldn’t believe that and I soon as I saw that I was off like a scolded cat.
Does money equal love, not in my book.
My subscription ends in a week or so and when it does I think I will be deleting my profile, I may leave it, I may come back, who knows?
The whole internet dating thing has left me a bit bemused, I went into it with open eyes and I will leave it with having my eyes opened.
Internet dating is rude.
It lacks honesty.
It lacks integrity.
It can be false as there are a lot of false profiles.
Some people are on it just to interrogate you, not date.
Its impersonal, it’s like looking online for a new shirt, you keep browsing till you find one that will do, not one that you really like or want.
I am sure there are real people on there, maybe I didn’t try hard enough, but the coldness of it all is not appealing.
As I say it’s like looking to buy something online, you browse you click, there is no emotion in it.
I am sure for some people it does work but for me, I think I will leave it a while and if I am meant to meet that special someone I will.
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